Dracadder
by dankind33
Summary: *Complete!* Its 1931, Edmund Blackadder and co. travel for an evening at the cinema. But dark forces are abound...
1. Default Chapter

Dracadder  
  
HERE COMES THE LEGAL PART: Blackadder is the intellectual property of John Lloyd, Ben Elton and all the rest of them. It is the corporate property of the BBC. BTVS is the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, and the corporate property of FOX. I have no intent of gaining profit from this story.  
  
A very special thank you to Deathtramp for her beta honours  
  
Into every generation there is born a man One who will stand along side the thickies, the rich, and the innocent. And exploit them for all they are worth.  
  
He is the Blackadder  
  
Chapter 1: A night out at the talkies.  
  
London, 1931  
  
Edmund Blackadder walked out of the theatre entrance. He had to avoid the insane clapping that followed the performance inside. He wouldn't have minded it so much, except that no person involved the actual performance was there. It was one of those contemptible talkies. And his Uncle Edmund thought that Charlie Chaplin was bad.  
  
The applause started to die down and more customers began to file out. A rather pale-faced George came out of the theatre. He was a moron really, but he was a social moron. Edmund's finances had been questionable at best. So, he had started to live by a simple rule. "Keep your friends close - but keep thickies with big wads of cash closer". The same could be said for his fiancée Elizabeth. She was the only daughter of Captain Henry Melchett - a mad old man, but with pots of cash.  
  
"Wha-wha-what a scary film!" said George.  
  
"Oh please." Said Edmund. "I've seen scarier things left on chairs where Baldrick has been sat."  
  
George nudged Edmund in the ribs playfully. Edmund merely raised his eyes. This meant that there was a 'oh come now' coming.  
  
"Oh come now, Blackie, you're not telling me you didn't find that Dracula fellow in the least bit Scary?"  
  
"Hardly" said Blackadder "The only thing I found scary about that film is that people were able to take that Hungarian seriously! I mean, if I'd wanted to see a man walking around in a black cape scaring women, I would have just dressed up Baldrick. The acting was awful, the music was grating, but most of all, the entire idea of Vampires is laughable." "But you can't deny Dracula's powers - he was able to make the entire screen go black and white." Insisted George.  
  
Edmund was about to interject when Elizabeth walked up to them. She had a wild smile on her face, along with a sort of vacant tint to her eyes - no change there then.  
  
"Hi Eddie, Hi George. What a terrif film eh?" Said Elizabeth.  
  
George nodded "Well I thought it was super duper but Blackie here thought."  
  
"It was even better!" finished Blackadder, cutting George off with a well- aimed elbow at the ribs. The fact was that Elizabeth was very possessive, and pig headed, much like her father. If Edmund disagreed with her in the slightest way, then she would threaten to call off the marriage. Edmund didn't want that, somehow having to rely on handouts from George who ranks in equal IQ to a particularly clean cabbage wasn't really the way he wanted to spend the rest of his life.  
  
Edmund checked his watch. His butler Baldrick was no-where to be seen. Edmund only hired Baldrick because he worked for turnips (literally). However, he did have his uses. Cooking, cleaning (clean being a relative term when discussing Baldrick) and anything else that Edmund couldn't be arsed to do himself. But certain things were a problem for Baldrick, such as hygiene and rational thought. And now Baldrick was running late. Marvellous.  
  
Finally, he heard the humming of his own car, and it parked on the pavement - knocking down 3 pedestrians.  
  
"Evening Mr B., Mr George, Miss Melchett. Was it a good film?"  
  
"Oh, I enjoyed it." began Blackadder. "But some people may have thought it was the dullest thing to be put on film since two frenchies pointed their camera at the workers leaving their factory."  
  
Elizabeth scowled at him.  
  
".But not me. I thought it was the greatest piece of cinema since Charlie Chaplin hung up his hat and cane" Blackadder amended quickly, seeing his future riches go down the drain.  
  
Edmund, George and Elizabeth all got into the rather large car.  
  
"So where to Mr B?" asked Baldrick  
  
"Take us to an establishment where we can all have a good drink - and somewhere with class this time - I still heave when I think too long about the gentleman's toilets in the last bar you took us." "That was my house Sir. I sleep there."  
  
"Now why doesn't that surprise me." Said Edmund  
  
+++  
  
They arrived at a bar that Edmund had never heard of before. He walked in and saw that most of the occupants were drinking bloody marys. Even the men.  
  
"Strange." Said Edmund.  
  
"What'll it be?" asked the barkeeper. He was a tall and pale man that seemed rather drained to Edmund.  
  
"I want a man's drink, something that says 'watch out girls there's a hard bloke in town'." Demanded Edmund, he then winked to Elizabeth who fluttered her eyelashes.  
  
"Oh Eddie, you are a fib super bloke! I just need to go to powder my nose, excuse me."  
  
Elizabeth sauntered off to the bathroom, whilst Edmund George and Baldrick remained at the bar. .  
  
"Double Whiskey then sir?" asked the barkeep.  
  
Bugger, thought Edmund. The fact was that even after years of living as one of London's elite, he still couldn't hold his booze.  
  
"Well, don't want to make the other patrons feel intimidated by my manliness. better give me some ice in that. And some water. Lots of water. In fact, you better make it a single, or better yet a half. And more water. Umm. I don't suppose you have any lemons behind there do you?"  
  
"Mine's a white wine please Blackadder." Said George.  
  
"Seems only fair since you're paying, and you'd better get Elizabeth one too."  
  
"Oh really, Blackadder, you have to stop letting me get away with this! I always get to pay for your drinks! Why do you always let me be such a super fellow?" Asked George.  
  
Edmund smirked. Poor George. He had managed to convince him that buying the drinks was an honour.  
  
"Because I can think of no one else who deserves to." Said Edmund.  
  
The bartender put the drinks on the tray.  
  
"Will Baldrick have anything?" asked George.  
  
"I would imagine that he has quite a few things already." Replied Edmund. "But the less about his diseases the better. Wait outside until we're done Balders."  
  
"But Sir it's raining outside." said Baldrick  
  
"Well, it will be your first shower in two years then won't it?"  
  
"Oh come now Blackadder" Piped in George. "We can't have the poor servant getting wet now can we?"  
  
Edmund paused. Actually he realised that George was right. "Now that you mention it, we can't have a dripping Baldrick on my car upholstery. My car would become a gas chamber on wheels. Alright, Balders, wait in the toilets... in the other saloon."  
  
"Oh thank you sir." Baldrick said, a wide smile on his face.  
  
The barkeep set the drinks onto a tray, and George carried them over to an empty table.  
  
"So, Edmund, you don't believe in Vampires then?" Asked George.  
  
"Of course I don't. The only unholy blood sucking creature that I know of is powdering her nose."  
  
Blackadder took a sip of his drink, immediately felt dizzy. He emptied the glass into his mouth, without swallowing, got up, and headed for the toilets. He spat all the whisky into a sink, and frantically started to wash his mouth out.  
  
"So, one of us now, eh Eddie?" came a voice from behind him. He looked up to see his old associate Gordon Flasheart. Word had it that he had died when he was found dead on his estate after falling on a toasting fork. Although he wasn't dead, he did look quite pale.  
  
"Honestly, Flasheart, if you're going to fake your own death, you should really avoid people you know. It sort of shatters the illusion of being dead."  
  
A smile spread across Flasheart's face. "Ah, so you just wandered in here then? And I am dead. I'm 100% stiff and I'm not talking about my-"  
  
"Yes, well, you see Flasheart," Edmund said, interrupting yet another double entendre "generally, as a rule the dead do not get up and frequent bars, and harass their friends with woefully unfunny plays on words like you did."  
  
"No Eddie, I'm a blood sucking fiend now, I'm a vampire. I can keep going all night. But that's no different from when I was mortal - WOOF!" Edmund shook his head - what was it everyone? One look at a badly acted version of an Irishman's mildly successful novel, and they are either scared to death or think that they are a vampire.  
  
"Look, Flasheart, you see that mirror over there? If you were one of these Vampires, you would have no reflection."  
  
Edmund looked at the mirror, and he appeared to be standing alone.  
  
".And you do have a reflection." Edmund continued. He glanced back at the mirror.  
  
"It just seems to be invisible right about. arrrrrrrgghhhhhhh" Edmund realised that Flasheart was indeed a Vampire. He quickly regained his composure and started to back away.  
  
"Well, I see that you are a Vampire, and no doubt you are pretty hungry right about now. May I recommend the George? He's excellent with a touch of white wine. Or possibly the Elizabeth?" he continued to back away, but froze when Flashheart's face twisted into the hideous visage of his inner demon.  
  
"No, Eddie, I think I have my course right here!"  
  
+++  
  
TBC Will Edmund escape from the clutches of Lord Flasheart? Will George realised he's being exploited? Will Baldrick realise that turnips are not adequate payment in the 20th century? Find out in the second part of this tale! 


	2. Now for some real power

Dracadder  
  
HERE COMES THE LEGAL PART: Blackadder is the intellectual property of John Lloyd, Ben Elton and all the rest of them. It is the corporate property of the BBC. BTVS is the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, and the corporate property of FOX. I have no intent of gaining profit from this story.  
  
Once again, warmest thanks to Deathtramp who managed to squeeze in Beta reading in between her own job and the fun stuff.  
  
Into every generation there is born a man One who will stand along side the thickies, the rich, and the innocent. And exploit them for all they are worth.  
  
He is the Blackadder  
  
+++  
  
What has gone before: In thirties London, Blackadder's theories on the non-existence of Vampires have been proven wrong when he finds himself in the clutches of his former friend, and current Vamp Gordon Flasheart  
  
+++  
  
Chapter 2: and now for some REAL power.  
  
Edmund awoke. His mouth felt like it was on fire, and his blood felt cold. He tried to piece together the events of the night before he opened his eyes. He went to see the stupid vampire film, ordered a glass of whiskey to impress Elizabeth and then, something about Flasheart attacking him, even though he was dead. Edmund quickly put the hallucination down to the one tiny sip of grog that he took. With a great deal of care and attention he opened one eye. His vision focused on white. He realised that he was under a sheet of some kind. Blackadder sat up and his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He looked down upon his body and found that he was naked.  
  
"But no sheep this time." He said aloud "Which is a plus." His body seemed more pasty and gaunt than usual. Perhaps there was something wrong with the drink that he had been sold. Perhaps Edmund could bribe the owner of the establishment - a thousand pounds a year for keeping quiet about his alcohol poisoning seemed a fair enough price. Already things were starting to look up for him.  
  
He looked around his room and found that it was not indeed his room, but some sort of hospital. Edmund got off of his bed - which was quite cold and hard, the reason behind it being that it was not a bed, but a metal trolley.  
  
He looked around at the other patients, and found that they were laid in the same position he had been laid in. The doctors had covered them all up with their sheets. A nasty horrid prank - one worthy of himself, Edmund admitted.  
  
He decided to see how his fellow patients were faring, and whipped back the sheets to one of them, and was immediately taken aback by the stench of death. Hardly surprising since the chap himself seemed to be dead. People with skewers through their heads tended to be so.  
  
"Okay, who's behind this sick joke?" Said Edmund aloud. "While I salute you for your originality, I'd be rather grateful if I could have my clothes back and be on my."  
  
Suddenly a dark, dismal thought crossed Edmund's mind, one that revolted him so much that, shaking, he pulled aside the other sheets in the bed. One had died, apparently from choking, another from blood loss; the final had been decapitated. Blackadder sighed with relief - so he didn't get drunk and try to pull Baldrick!  
  
As he looked at his arm, still clutching the sheet of the last body, he noticed in the blank space where the head normally was that the sheet was floating in mid air. He then ran to a mirror in the morgue, and noticed that he was completely invisible. He gave out a scream, but he was stopped by Flashheart, who put his hands around Edmunds mouth.  
  
"Welcome to the club, Eddie." Said Flashheart. "And I don't mean the Friends of Flashheart's flash bits - WOOF!"  
  
The thought began to settle in. Edmund was indeed a vampire, a killer, and one who would live forever. Blackadder smiled to himself and the blood lust began to take hold. In addition Edmund felt a hunger that had not been felt in those of his bloodline since the first Blackadder, or rather The Black Adder. A smile crossed his face. He lowered Flasheart's hand down.  
  
"At last, a chance for some real power!" said Edmund.  
  
Flasheart shot him a warning stare. "Steady Eddie, just because you're a vampire like me doesn't mean the birds will be dropping their knickers as soon as you walk in the room. Also, there are some weaknesses."  
  
"Yes, yes, I've read the book." Interrupted Edmund. "Crosses and holy water - but I don't go to church. Daylight, well I never did get up before noon, and I'd like to see the fellow who can get up after having a stake rammed through his heart or getting beheaded."  
  
Flasheart's face was still stern. "Wait now, there's supposed to be this girl born into every generation, they call her the Slayer. She has all these special powers, and my sire says that she's really hard to kill."  
  
The grave expression on Flasheart's face lightened as he continued. "Although I reckon she'd let me kill her if I showed her a good time." He punctuated the sentence with a crude pelvic thrust. "But you aren't the sexy beast I am, and from what I remember at school you were always getting your head kicked in by the bullys, so mind your Ps and Qs."  
  
"I'll do just that, " said Edmund. "Well, half of it at least. So, P off!"  
  
Flashheart turned his back and left, whilst Edmund considered his first victim.  
  
+++  
  
Blackadder arrived at his home. The lights were on - he hoped Baldrick wasn't nicking the silver now he was dead. Then he paused for a moment. Actually chances were that Baldrick was probably nicking the turnips. Still he had plans for Baldrick, but first he had to take care of George.  
  
He entered his house and saw George, crying his eyes out in the living room. Baldrick was stood in the corner, looking dismayed. Finally, Blackadder pushed the ajar door open and revealed himself to his 'companions'.  
  
"Hullo Boys!" said Blackadder  
  
"Mr B you're alive!" Exclaimed Baldrick  
  
"Balders, you told me he was dead, you bally fool!" exclaimed George.  
  
Edmund chuckled "Actually, and believe me, I would rather run naked covered in dog food in Battersea dogs home than admit this, but for once, but Baldrick is 100% correct. I am indeed dead."  
  
"Ah, so it was all a white wash eh? Being dead isn't as fatal as they make out! It must be a conspiracy between the governments of the world and the funeral homes of the world." Said George genuinely fascinated.  
  
Bladckadder rolled his eyes "No, normally, death is the end. but when you're bitten by a Vampire, it's just the first step." Edmund's face twisted and contorted into that of his demonic visage. George's face merely held a confused expression.  
  
"No, I don't follow." He said.  
  
Blackadder put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Even in death, he couldn't escape the thicky twins.  
  
"OK, one more time." Said Edmund. "I was killed by a Vampire. I was made into a Vampire afterwards and now I am a Vampire."  
  
George's gormless expression didn't change. "Ah. and so what does a Vampire do then?"  
  
"Bloody hell!" exclaimed Blackadder, still bearing his demonic mask "You only watched Dracula last night! Have you forgotten it already?"  
  
"Oh, you mean that frightful fil - yes I rememb-arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" The realisation dawned on poor George and he began to cower.  
  
"Ah, now that's better." said Edmund. He swooped forward and sank his teeth into George's neck and drank the toff's blood  
  
Edmund let his body fall and savoured in the euphoria that came from his feeding from his former friend. Baldrick yelped, and tried to leave. Blackadder didn't want to let his servant get away; he leaped after him, and caught his shoulder in a vice like grip.  
  
"Please sir, please don't bite me!" begged Baldrick  
  
"Baldrick, I wouldn't bite you if you were washed, scrubbed, de-loused and served with an 1901 vintage wine and a blindfold for me. No, I have plans for you my boy."  
  
+++  
  
What does the sinister Edmund have in store for our little troll? R and R, and you might just find out! 


	3. Dracadder vs the Slayer

Dracadder  
  
HERE COMES THE LEGAL PART: Blackadder is the intellectual property of John Lloyd, Ben Elton and all the rest of them. It is the corporate property of the BBC. BTVS is the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, and the corporate property of FOX. I have no intent of gaining profit from this story.  
  
Yet again, thanks a million to Deathtramp for her beta-ness. Also a big thanks to everyone who's took the time to review my story here on ff.net. Without input from others I probably would have left it be after the first part and sulked  
  
Into every generation there is born a man One who will stand along side the thickies, the rich, and the innocent. And exploit them for all they are worth.  
  
He is the Blackadder  
  
+++  
  
What has gone before: In thirties London, Blackadder's theories on the non-existence of Vampires were proven wrong when found himself in the clutches of his former friend, and current Vamp Gordon Flasheart. Now Blackadder has been brought across to Darkness. which is already an improvement on the time he had to stay at Baldrick's.  
  
+++  
  
Chapter 3 - Blackadder vs. the Slayer  
  
Edmund looked down on the cowering Baldrick. The fact was that he would have killed Baldrick if he could - but he wouldn't feed on him. Anyway, he had plans for his houseboy - he needed him alive.  
  
He forced Baldrick into one of the armchairs in the sitting room then quickly dragged him back up again - he didn't want Baldrick dirtying the furniture. He went into the kitchen and forced him onto the stool by the stove.  
  
He then leant knelt down so that he was shoulder level with Baldrick. He extended his fingers, and held them in front of Baldrick's eyes.  
  
"You are falling under my power." said Edmund, as he began to flex and curl his fingers in front of Baldrick. Baldrick merely stared back at him, with the same blank look that he always had. Still, at least it wasn't fear.  
  
"Do you understand?" asked Edmund  
  
"No." replied Baldrick flatly. "Oh sodding hell! I'm trying to hypnotise you! Now lets try again." Edmund raised his fingers and twirled them in front of Baldrick's eyes.  
  
"You are falling under my power. do you understand?"  
  
"Yes" said Baldrick, distantly  
  
"Finally" said Edmund.  
  
With that Baldrick fell to the ground. Edmund scoffed.  
  
"Oh get up Balders" hissed Edmund.  
  
Baldrick groggily stood to his feet.  
  
"Now." began Edmund, but before he could continue, Baldrick fell to the ground with another thud. "Oh for goodness sake." said Edmund as he picked Baldrick up "Have you been drinking? I hear that kills of parts of the brain, and in your case, its not very wise to diminish something you lack already."  
  
"Not drinking" said Baldrick, still in a trance "Falling under your power" Edmund looked at Baldrick trying to figure out what he meant. He released his arm from Baldrick's shoulder, and he turned his back trying to think along the same lines as his lackey. Finally it came to him.  
  
"Oh I get it!" said Edmund. Thud. Baldrick was on the ground again. "I hypnotised you too quickly and you took the falling under my power thing literally. All right. You will stop falling under my power." He said with a half hearted movement of his hand. Baldrick stood to his feet again.  
  
"Now, is that it?" asked Edmund. Baldrick stood still. "Good. Now, take this address." Blackadder reached into his pocket and handed a piece of paper he had stolen from Flasheart's pocket. It was the address of a demon bar in London.  
  
"I need you to ask the people there if they know the name of the slayer. do you understand?" Edmund asked.  
  
"Yes." Said Baldrick.  
  
A malicious smile crossed Edmund's lips "Oh, from now on, whenever you speak to me, you have to say 'master' after everything. Do you understand me?" he asked Baldrick.  
  
"Yes Master After Everything." Said Baldrick.  
  
"Oh just sod off and find me the slayer Baldrick." Said Edmund, too frustrated to re-program his servant. "Yes Master After Everything" repeated Baldrick, and he left the kitchen and set off on his way.  
  
He looked at Baldrick leave the grounds from an upstairs window, then took a deep breath and calmed himself. There was a second piece of paper in Flasheart's pocket - the Address of the Watcher's council  
  
+++  
  
On his way to the watcher's council, Edmund came across Melchett's Merchant Bank. He almost certainly knew his boss wasn't there - he was probably off at some convention or meeting, it probably involved copious amounts of alcohol, and almost certainly involved some form of buggery. However, there was a light on in one of the 3rd floor windows, and immediately knew who it was. He spoke his name with an acidic contempt.  
  
"Darling."  
  
Percy Darling to be precise. In life, Darling was Edmund's biggest adversary. They were room mates at university, Darling was a hard worker, but Edmund managed to weasel his way through life, thus he was able to do as well as Darling, and end up with an active social life in addition. Darling thought he had overcome Edmund when he managed to get a job working for Melchett, but once again Blackadder outdid him by getting a job there too, and winning the hand of the old walrus' daughter in marriage, guaranteeing Blackadder ownership of the bank when Melchett finally popped his clogs.  
  
Edmund decided to go and pay Darling a visit. Of course, he would never have the satisfaction of being Darling's boss, but on the other hand, he would have the greater satisfaction of snuffing out his life like a flame, which was much more preferable to Edmund.  
  
He broke into the door and clambered up the steps. He knocked on the door, and heard a loud "come in". There sat Darling, feverishly writing away at some document or other. He stared up then froze as he realised who it was.  
  
"Ah, Edmund, heard you'd died." Said Darling, keeping his comments short meant that he could successfully contain his loathing for the man who may one day be his boss.  
  
"Well actually yes, I did." Said Blackadder.  
  
".and you were resurrected as a vampire?" asked Darling.  
  
Something stung at the back of Edmund's head. Percy knew about him. He knew, and he didn't even flinch. From a man who was scared when Melchett didn't get his coffee at 10.00 on the dot, this was very fishy.  
  
"And, lets say your right." Said Blackadder, trying to seem like he was absentmindedly scrutinising Percy's notice board "How did you come across this little snippet of information?"  
  
Percy smiled - and that worried Edmund  
  
"Well, Gordon Flasheart came my way, said he was trying to turn the rest of the old school gang into vampires, said he already turned you. I told him to go away."  
  
"Bloody hell, we must be running short on classmates if Flasheart tried to recruit you. Why did you refuse, because he wouldn't turn Mr Teddy?"  
  
At the mention of Darling's secret bedtime toy from their university days, the clerk's left eye twitched, and his nostrils flared.  
  
"It's Mr Fluffy, and you know, I'm glad you're dead! That means I can finally tell you what an idle layabout you really were, and how I hoped and prayed that you would mess up, and your marriage to Elizabeth would be cancelled."  
  
"And I" countered Edmund "Can tell you this" his face shifted. His fangs elongated, ridges appeared on his forehead, and his eyes turned sickly yellow. "Die, you sodding git."  
  
Darling quickly pulled out a wooden crucifix that filled Edmund with a gut churning dread as soon as he saw it. He turned and backed away, leaving Darling to chuckle smugly.  
  
+++  
  
"Damn" was all Blackadder could say as he made his way to the Watcher Council's headquarters. He had been robbed of his greatest kill. He'd tear the watchers apart, then he'd climb up the walls of the bank, break in to Darlings window, and tear out his throat. But first he had to take care of the watchers and the slayers - leave Darling for desert.  
  
He opened the door of the Watcher HQ and was immediately repelled by something. "Private Property Blackadder" said a voice behind him. He turned and saw Darling standing there, the same smug expression on his face as when they parted. He must have followed him. The sneak. "Didn't Flasheart tell you about that weakness?"  
  
"No" admitted Blackadder "And I've got a good mind to shove a crucifix where the sun doesn't shine for that little omission"  
  
Darling laughed "That'll have to wait until you join him in hell."  
  
"You killed my Sire?" said Edmund, indignantly.  
  
"Yes, does that upset you?" asked Darling.  
  
"Too right it does!" confirmed Edmund "He still owes me two pounds from 1927."  
  
Darling flinched; disappointed that Edmund didn't feel any real emotional attachment to the vampire that made him.  
  
"Wait a minute." Said Edmund. "How does the man who used to check the toilets for rugby players before setting foot into them, kill a creature of the night?  
  
"I was trained to do so." Said Darling, gleefully setting foot into the watcher's HQ.  
  
"You're a watcher!" said Edmund.  
  
But before they could continue, a shrill "Help, help." Could be heard coming closer and closer.  
  
"A monkey's got me!" a female voice said. Edmund smelled them rather than saw them. Or rather, he smelt Baldrick. But Blackadder rolled his eyes when he saw his captive.  
  
"Baldrick, that's not the Slayer, its Elizabeth." Said Blackadder  
  
"Yes, Elizabeth is the slayer, Master After Everything." Said Baldrick.  
  
"Ha!" said Blackadder "The only thing that trout could slay is a man's eardrums."  
  
"Edmund" said Elizabeth with a pout "That's a horrid thing to say."  
  
"Well it's the truth!" said Blackadder. "God, now I can tell you what I really think of you. You're a vain, temperamental, foul mannered cow, and I'm glad I won't have to spend the rest of my days with you."  
  
Elizabeth punched Baldrick on the nose and he fell onto his backside. She tore up each sided of her dress to allow freedom of movement. She then held up a stake.  
  
"Thank you for being honest" she said with a deeply serious voice. It was devoid of the screeches and squeals that usually baited Edmund. In fact, it was her real voice - the voice of the slayer.  
  
"When you died" began Darling "It was decided that Elizabeth and I should marry, since I am her watcher. It would make our duties easier to complete. So I would suppose that means that I get the bank that you would have gotten, the woman you would have gotten, and the sackfuls of lovely, lovely cash you would have gotten."  
  
The rage and anger was too much for Edmund to bear. Forgetting himself, he lunged at Darling, clawing at the air in front of him. "You bastard!" screeched Edmund. He looked down as he stared at a sudden lump pushing through his shirt. For a split second he hoped that it was some sort of extra part of the transformation into a full on Vampire, but the shirt tore, and Edmund saw the tip of the slayers stake.  
  
"Oh Damn." Edmund said, as his body turned to dust, and was scattered into the London night wind.  
  
THE END 


End file.
